Dr F. A., a young medical doctor of age 25, from Rawalpindi, Pakistan contacted on April 19, 2017 to discuss her case on phone. She provided further details through email. The detail of her symptoms is being reproduced below along with her feedback and updates. We will keep updating the case and its follow up details here.
Wise people say, “the first step of solving a problem is admitting that there is one”. It took me a really long time that I am NOT fine and i need help.
I have never been normal.
During different phases of my childhood and adolescence, I had different fears and phobias
- Fear of death
- Fear of choking under the grave
- Fear of losing parents
- Fear of missing my school bus everyday
But I never told anyone about anything.
When I was in matric, i had a really bad breakdown knowing that I will have to leave my school and my friends
(Everybody interpreted it as exam stress). I ended up at a psychiatrist clinic for the first time at the age of 14 years!! He prescribed me medicines.
I topped my school in matric got admission on scholarship in college. College was uneventful.
Then I got admission in Medical College.
At Medical College Hostel, I used to live with 8 people in my room. I never had time for myself and nobody amongst them was like me. I always had a baseline constant anxiety.
I developed insomnia in matric and it aggravated in my 2nd year MBBS. I ended up with psychiatrist again. I was enrolled in CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) with a psychologist. I took sessions for 3 months.
Then again, in my 4th year of MBBS, I had palpitations and anxiety all time. First, my thyroid profile was done and once again I ended up with psychiatrist. They prescribed me antidepressants. I took medicines for 15 days.
Then again, in my final year of Medical College, I was so anxious, sleepless that I ended up at psychiatrist one more time. This time he prescribed high dose medicines for 3 months but I could not take them.
In my house job, I used to be so absentminded that I used to forget my name … I was sleepless after 72 hrs duties. This time our Associate Professor diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder and prescribed me antidepressants and sedatives.
So I had 6 sets of going to psychiatrists in my life until now.
7th time I went to Psychiatrist when I was working in a Hospital in Lahore and he said u have sleep phobia (neither depression nor anxiety).
For last three years I am having horrible dreams, sleep paralysis, night terrors almost every night ….
Nothing helped me so finally, I took Benzodiazepines for 6 weeks in last months but it made everything even worse.
My issues are as follows:
Body Pains (I used to have bodyaches from the moment I get up to the moment I went to bed. these are so debilitating that I couldn’t work or study whole day. I had worst headaches. It didn’t go away not with medicines, rest, sleep, tea, coffee etc)
Sleeplessness, Insomnia, nightmares and night terrors – I used to have nightmares ever since I was a kid but they aggravated after my matric and went beyond tolerance after my 4th year MBBS. I used to wake up because of my own screams. I used to fall from bed. They were so terrible that I can’t recall a single night from past one and half year where I slept uninterrupted till morning. The content of those nightmares used to give me goosebumps even on the next day. It was a real misery. I was insomniac and the small amount of time that I used to sleep was even worse than staying up all night because of those nightmares.
If due to some reason I get up, I can’t sleep again.
Appetite – almost no appetite anymore (no matter what I do I was unable to eat. I was unable to eat no matter how hungry I used to be or how delicious the food was. I tried finest dining places in Lahore hoping that would like change and I will be able to eat but it too didn’t work. I used to spend 3-4 consecutive days without eating anything solid. (only taking juices, water, snacks but no proper meal …. I lost 7kg in 5 months. I was unable to break that vicious cycle)
Nausea and occasionally vomiting – I had nausea all the time. It didn’t let me eat anything. It was so unpleasant)
Concentration very difficult – I am appearing for PLAB exam in June for which I need to go to London soon but I am repeating same topic again and again (being a medical student and then being a doctor I had an amazing IQ. I could retain and recall things without putting up a lot of effort .but after my matric, my energy started to waste on unnecessary things while studying. I used to memorize the topic quickly but I had problems with switching from one topic to another. For some unknown reason, I used to be stuck whenever I wanted to move on to next topic. … And, I wouldn’t go on to next topic until I repeat last line of previous topic 3 times. It was painful for me because I figured out really soon that it is wasting my potential on wrong stuff. I have always been brilliant but during the past years, a lot of my energy is being wasted on stupid stuff like this).
Due to severe anxiety and depression, all of my energy is going wasted in useless issues (as a teenager, I learnt things really quickly – cooking, stitching, embroidery, painting or whatever you expect from a teenager girl to learn. I learnt everything incredibly quickly. I always had a lot of energy and potential but with the passing years I kept on getting more and more stuck inside my head, in my thoughts that all of talents started to waste. I lost interest in all the activities (I was a position holder in creative writing, decors and other activities in my school) but with the passage of time I started to dwell on wrong things and thoughts due to my anxiety).
I have lost my weight drastically – I am 48 KG and my height is 5.9 (I tried different professional diet plans to gain weight because I was too skinny but nothing worked for me. I still am very very lean).
Hair Fall – (in my teens I had long waist length beautiful hair. But in the recent years I had drastic hair fall. I was diagnosed with seborrheic dermatitis and I used many expensive medicines and shampoos for my hair. I used sprays for hair growth but as soon as I left sprays, my hair fell off again. It was very disturbing for me; It still is).
Skin Eruption – In past two years, I started developing acne for which I took aggressive treatment from well-known and top level dermatologist / skin specialist for 1 year. I used to apply 4 different creams during day but as soon as I stopped medicine it used to come back, every time more severe).
Dark Circles Around My Eyes – I had disturbed sleep cycle for years and years (9 years minimum), so in past one year I developed pathetic dark circles. Everyone who meets me asks me if I am sick or upset. They make me look sick.
Severe Weakness physically and emotionally – Have no energy to do anything (I am so drained and energyless all the time. It is not associated to sleep or eating or rest. I am tired whole day. I cannot get any task done. It takes a lot of energy to even clean my room or to go downstairs. Emotionally, I have become so weak, I cannot get over people. I cannot withstand change and I have lost adaptability to changing circumstances)
I waste too much time and energy in
- Cleaning my room
- Setting my bedroom
- Drinking water in small quantity again and again
- Keeping each and everything in order (high lighters, pens, pencils, books etc)
- I am so obsessed with orderliness and perfection that if I mark something with highlighter and I am unable to draw or highlight in straight line it starts getting on my nerves and it keeps pinching me for a long time.
I remember each and everything of my childhood – mostly disturbing ones. (I remember all the minor details of all the important and unimportant events of my childhood)
I have developed Fear and Phobias of almost all kinds of animals, birds, and insects. I can do nothing if lizard etc is in the room. My mind will remain stuck with it and I will keep following it all the time.
Mobile ringtone sounds, sparrow’s crippling etc disturb me a lot. I keep all the windows and doors of my rooms closed day and night. (I keep my cell on silent all the time because it’s tone disturbs me. Every cellphone ringing creates a strange anxiety in me)
I just cannot eat Yogurt, Eggs, Ice Cream, Mutton, Chicken and Beef. (I am very very selective about my choice of food. I am unable to eat healthy diet due to my food aversions. I don’t like aroma and taste of meat (any kind of meat, mutton, beef, chicken, fish. Whatever I eat I eat very little which is unable to meet metabolic requirements of my body).
Feel sever anxiety when any member of my family has some health issue – It takes me two three days to get normal
Do not meet any friend, family members and want to remain in my room all the time. Also don’t go for outing or meeting relatives at all.
I am emotionless and have no interest in thinking, discussing my marriage and future life – Actually, I am scared, very scared.
My mind keeps on comparing that I am behind all of my friends and colleagues.
If some idea or thought (of course, the negative one) comes into my mind, I just cannot get out of it. Will keep on thinking about that all the day. (One thought ruins my day, sometimes the whole week and I am unable to shut it out or silence it. I live INSIDE my head)
I keep all of my belongings (even childhood dollhouse) safe and secure. Letting go and moving one has never been easy for me. When I get attached, I get toooo much attached. I don’t have balance in this. When I love something, I love it A LOT. I still remember I never threw away my broken clips and toys when I was a child … I still have my school copies, papers etc. I linger on way too long. I cannot close one chapter and start another chapter of life without getting upset about it.
Everything I hold dear to my heart, it is somewhat impossible for me to let go of it. No matter how injurious and toxic that thing is for me. I will keep on holding onto it for the sake of MY love for it and this is how I end up hurting myself. Deletion of people and things has never been easy for me.
Repertorisation of the case and Treatment
Dr John Henry Clarke (1915 – 1998) writes in his famous book The Prescriber, “The best repertory anyone can have is in his own memory.” And at Bahria HOMEOPATHIC Consultants office we believe in it.
It is obvious that symptoms of Dr F.A. are highly suppressed due to frequent use of heavy drugs, antidepressants so we need to take off drug layer first. Etiology overrules symptomatology in clinical practice. Considering this very important factor and his symptomatology as well, Nux Vomica was dispatched to her. She started treatment on April 22, 2017. Followings are the feedback and updates, which were communicated through text message (Photos also enclosed).
April 26, 2017 – FEEDBACK OF FIRST 4 days of treatment
First, I must appreciate that you are a very dedicated and concerned professional. You never let other person feel that he / she is getting on your nerves. You pay attention to stupidest things. You actually listen to everything and validate the other person’s situation (which is a new thing to me).
So thank you for the subtle analysis and paying so much attention.
After my very first telephonic session, I realized that I am with the right person.
Following things improved in just 4 days
- I stopped medications that have actually handicapped me physically and mentally with minimal withdrawals
- I somehow manage to eat 3 meals a day (after ages)
- Physical symptoms including tremors, anxiety and palpitations have diminished markedly
- My sleep cycle is better, nightmares have almost stopped
- And above all I gained motivation to improve myself, due to your constant available support Alhumdulillah! I have hope that I will get better and my misery will end Insha Allah and I will get back to natural and healthy life style.
April 30, 2017 – She provides her weekly feedback and update
It has been almost one week of my treatment and I feel a lot better.
The goals of first week of treatment included
- Improvement in appetite
- Improvement in sleep
- removal of drug layer (which I have been taking for quite a long time, more time than is recommended by medical sciences and medicines have withdrawals of 6 months)
- Amongst these goals, we have successfully achieved all of these
- My appetite is a lot better (almost all the credit goes to u, thank u for knocking sense in my head + ur constant support)
- I dont exactly know how but my sleep cycle has improved after 9 long years. …. I can sleep without medicine (I used to have sleep paralysis, nightmares and interrupted sleep for 9 years). Now, even if I dont sleep a lot I sleep comfortably without nightmares.
- As for removal of drug layer, being a doctor it is very very hard for me to believe that I had withdrawals physical symptoms only for 1-2 days after they started going away (even though they take 6 months to completely leave ur body ) and after 1st 2, 3 days my symptoms started resolving and by the end of first week I am completely symptom free from the effects of medicines. No dizziness, headache, palpitation, numbness of senses, drowsiness, and heavy sensation in body – this part is quite surprising for me.
My mind symptoms are also better but I still need to work on them a lot.
Above all, ur dedication and concern is priceless. This is the most important thing about treatment (in my humble opinion) because there are good days there are bad days but i always have support and guidance for everything that bothers me after a bad day. For a person as guarded and inhibited as I, it feels wonderfully strange to have a kind person who can actually understand my problem with the same intensity. It really really means a lot and i cant thank you enough for this. I mean this is not the kind of good luck that happens every other day. Thank u so much. Stay Blessed 🙂
Feedback suggests that we are on right track so decided to wait and give proper time of action to the medicine.
You need an ideal patient for classical homeopathy to work perfectly and Dr FA is one of them. I decided to go for proper reperotorisation of her case, as actual symptoms got clear now. Following are main rubrics / symptoms to consider:
- Mind – INSECURITY – sense of
- Mind – THOUGHTS, general – control of thoughts lost
- Mind – ADAPTIBILITY, loss of
- Mind – ANNOYED, easily – desire not to be disturbed
- Mind – ANNOYED, easily – least noise or light, by
- Mind – ANXIETY, general – ailments, from anxiety
- Mind – ANXIETY, general – attacks, of anxiety – cannot control herself
- Mind – ANXIETY, general – diseases, about – despair of getting well, with
- Mind – ANXIETY, general – dreams, on waking from frightful
- Mind – ANXIETY, general – things that happened long ago, about, with palpitations
- Mind – ANXIETY, general – thoughts, from – thoughts, sad
- Mind – FEAR, general, phobias – animals, of
- Mind – FEAR, general, phobias – birds, of
- Mind – FEAR, general, phobias – bugs
- Mind – FEAR, general, phobias – burden, of becoming a
- Mind – FEAR, general, phobias – choking, of
- Mind – FEAR, general, phobias – drowned, of being
- Mind – FEAR, general, phobias – ailments from fear
- Mind – FEAR, general, phobias – health, of loved persons
- Mind – FEAR, general, phobias – insanity, of
- Mind – FEAR, general, phobias – noise, from – sudden, of
- Mind – FEAR, general, phobias – palpitations, with
- Mind – FEAR, general, phobias – prolonged, fear, ailments after
- Mind – FEAR, general, phobias – public, appearing in, of
- Mind – FEAR, general, phobias – recover, he will not
- Mind – FEAR, general, phobias – restlessness, from fear
- Mind – SELF-CONTROL, loss of
- Mind – SENSITIVE, general – ailments, to the most trifling
- Mind – SOUNDS, goes wild on hearing any sound, dances about, must be held
- Mind – THINKING, general – complaints agg., of – agg.
- Mind – THINKING, general – constantly of his ailments
- Mind – ANTI-SOCIAL, behavior
- Mind – THOUGHTS, general – persistent – alone, when
- Mind – THUNDERSTORMS, loves to watch
- Mind – UNPLEASANT things, inclined to dwell on
- Dreams – ABUSED, being too weak to defend himself
- Dreams – NIGHTMARES – fear, followed by
- Dreams – NIGHTMARES – falling asleep, on – every night
- Constitutions – TALL, lean, slender
- Constitutions – GIRLS, general – sensitive
- Constitutions – YOUNG people – tremors from emotional or physical causes
- Food – APPETITE, general – diminished
- Food – APPETITE, general – loss, of appetite – palpitations, with
- Food – MUTTON, agg. – aversion to
- Food – BEEF, aversion to
- Food – MEAT, general – aversion, to – thinking of it, while
- Sleep – INTERRUPTED – dreams, by
- Sleep – INSOMNIA, sleeplessness – anxiety, from – 3 a.m. to 4 a., until
- DREAMS – ABUSED; being – defend himself – weak to; too
- DREAMS – PURSUED, being – man; by a
- Mind – MUTILATE, body, inclination to
- Food – EGGS, agg. – aversion to
- Food – SWEETS, general – aversion to
- Skin – HAIR, falls out
- Skin – ACNE, general – forehead
- Skin – ACNE, general – chin
- Skin – ERUPTIONS – hairy, parts, on
- Female – DISCHARGE, vagina – bland – menses, before and after
Ars. Phosph., Carcin, Calc. and Nat-M. are the first grade remedies according to her symptoms.
May 02, 2017 – She reported
She could not sleep at night as she was not well. At last when slept for a while, she had to take one of her family member to hospital. She got panic, emotionally and physically disturbed. Her appetite lost again. Nausea, headache and dizziness feeling started overcoming her. Panic attacks of anxiety started which resulted into cleaning her room, setting bedsheet properly, taking small quantity water very frequently, anger and irritation was at its height. It was difficult for her to manage the situation.
Homeopathic remedy Ars. one dose was prescribed.
May 11, 2017 – From the feedback, we can see that her health (physical, mental and emotional spheres) is improving significantly. She started thinking to help others who are suffering but not getting proper help. It is obvious Ars. is working very well. No need of thinking about any other remedy for the time being.
I give my feedback daily and sometimes hourly but this is exclusively for the readers of your blog merely out of good will !!
I am done with my 3weeks treatment and i am writing my feedback hoping that it might help somebody someday and if by any chance, it helps one person just one person i will consider it a huge achievement.
Before i write about specific issues i would like to make few things clear .Whenever you sign up for any treatment you have to have faith and trust both on your doctor and the treatment. Next thing is compliance to treatment, you have to STICK to it even when there are days when it is hard to believe that it will work. There is hardly any treatment process in allopathy or other treatment modalities where the process goes perfectly smooth. You have to give it TIME and you have to be PATIENT before jumping to conclusion that “no, it is not working for me ”. It will work only when u will LET it work. Another important thing is that there is a good solid chance that you might be going through things that are hard to confess and that are hard to talk about because they can make you socially stigmatized (things like depression, obsessions, addictions) but i insist that it is always better to “Give it a try” than to suffer in silence for the rest of your life. Like my doctor says. “if that is important to you, it is the most important thing in the world”.
So here we go:
My appetite is a lot better. I eat 3 times a day, somedays i have to eat forcefully but some days it is good and the vicious cycle has broken. I have added some new food items to my meals (yogurt, dates, ice cream)
My sleep cycle has become surprisingly good. I have nightmares free sleep (except for just one day). Once i wake up i go back to sleep with little effort. Then again, there are days when it doesn’t go that well. Sometimes i have interrupted sleep but that is still a lot better than my previous sleep cycle.
It’s been quite a long time since i had comfortable social interaction but during past few weeks I visited my old friend without being awkward. I went out with my mother several times and enjoyed little things like gol gappay (yes, feel free to laugh :p )
I had to take my father to emergency, it wasn’t a good experience but the stress didn’t paralyze me like it used to do before and coped with it well.
My concentration improved a lot. I spend less time on unnecessary things.
Well u cannot expect something so chronic to go away instantly, but my bouts of anxiety are less severe. Although i still have it sometimes the intensity and duration has decreased. I still need to work a lot on this.
Like i said earlier, you cannot expect anything to go perfectly perfect. I had days where i didnt do too well. I have restless sleep (somedays). My physical symptoms worsened for a while i had troublesome diarrhea and vomiting 2 days ago, but it settled without any medicine. Somedays i had anxiety, there were days where i had bad headaches but the bottomline is that they are SELF-RESOLVING. You just have to stay calm. Every treatment option, every science has its limitations and you have to give it margin.
Lastly, I owe a huge thanks to my consultant for being so concerned and keen even for minor details, for being there, for being so supportive, for addressing everything so amazingly. I as a doctor am learning a lot from him and He changed my perspective on doctor-patient relationship. None of it is an overstatement. Every single word is well-deserved and totally earned!
There is always, always a hope, but sometimes you need help to see it and there is nothing shameful about seeking help. If you are reading this you have landed in right place.
Good luck, remember in prayers!!
Feedback and updates after one months are reproduced in the comments and separate post.
May 31, 2017 – Dr FA reported:Restlessness, agitation,
annoyance, low tolerance, depressed, suicide ideation, helplessness, multiple thoughts running through mind, inability to concentrate, memorize and retain information, general feeling of frustration, exaggerated feeling of loneliness, annoyance about being misunderstood, feeling of deprivation, feeling of being messed up, avoidance of people, socially isolated and confined, decreased adaptability along with feeling of deep insecurity.She set her room as was feeling it messy though it was neat and clean. Desire for salt was increased. She was taking cold water very frequently but in small quantity. Tremors and weakness feeling was troublesome.